Oops. What Those Small Silly Comments Actually Mean.

Excuse the random title but it does get my point across, right? I remember having a conversation on a night out with a friend when I was in my early twenties. Wearing some of my favourite gear, hair straightened and the scent of Ralph Lauren Romance wafted from my skin. I was ready to enjoy myself and nothing was going to stop me, or was it?

As I ran to meet up with a friend, she commented on how lovely I looked (and smelled) as we hugged and looked forward to the night ahead. As I pulled away to respond, the following comment of “why don’t you do anything nice with your hair?” didn’t quite create endorphins. At the time, I sadly gave a response of “Yeah, I don’t know?”. Still without curled hair during our next encounter, I discovered that indeed our friendship and life did go on. After all, I like low maintenance. I curl my hair on special occasions and I’ll even get a cutesy braid if I’m feeling extra adventurous. Before my working day or simply when I’m heading to Lidl to pick up a bag of avocados – you won’t see me with a curler in my hand because well, I have plenty of other things I’d rather be doing.

The point of this post isn’t the curly hair, it’s the relationship of comments, their meaning and our own interpretation . Is it great that someone makes an effort with their hair? Sure. A pretty hair style never hurt anyone and it certainly generates confidence for some people. Heading out of your house like you just rolled out of bed is surely not going to set you up for the day ahead either by the way. The point though is this – we all make our choices about what works best for us (hair and all). Whether someone chooses to comment on it or not doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s valued, true or even necessary. That certainly won’t stop it from happening though -sorry.

Over the years of non-curled hair, I’ve needed to develop a habit or two when it comes to responding to unwanted comments. Being an over sensitive so and so, this has proved tricky – I’m not going to lie.

Firstly, you have the option to say something back. It could go something like “Why?” or “I’m not a fan of curls, thanks.” Done and dusted – moving on.

If you’re like me and don’t think to respond to comments during the scenario, then pure silence and a smile can work really well. It usually means the subject changes rather quickly and it doesn’t become something for anyone to dwell on. Life continues to be curl and tension free. Yay! Everyone’s a winner.

Finally, turning it into a joke (if you’re funny) will not only make the comment lighter but will set the tone for the times ahead. Curls or no curls – you’ve got your own stand up comedy ready to roll out to the world.

My favourite lesson I’ve learned has been to respond not react. When you choose to respond, you’re choosing to come from a measured place. Choose wisely.