Category Archives: sometimes wellbeing

Varying Perspectives and Looking After Your Nervous System: Part One

There’s a clear change happening right now. It’s a ‘being out of lockdown, still in a pandemic and great resignation’ kind of change that is a bit tricky to define. It’s a what is going to happen now and where do we lean in? kind of vibe. Trust me, it’s normal to feel the weirdness and it is totally acceptable to feel the pull of change right now.

As we move forward and experience this shift, we can’t help but understand that well, there is an opportunity for assessment of how we are interacting with and approaching each other. This applies to our perspective on life, politics, day to day habits and certainly, stance on vaccinations and what the future holds.

Daily conversations, in person, social media and when it comes to our work places can show some sign of this divide, quite often with fear being front and centre. How do we then identify what is working for us and how we navigate these conversations with our energy in tact?

First, be open to other perspectives. Right now, it can feel quite easy to be on edge and to get frustrated about some of what is said and the division happening. It’s clear that not everyone is on the same page and that’s okay. The biggest piece to start with is to acknowledge this and be open to the fact that not everyone thinks the way you do. We’re all seeing the world through our own paradigms and this is going to be a major factor that will guide us through the varying dialogue.

You know that, not everyone thinks the same as you, right? Remember this also – there are varying sources of information on EVERY topic on the internet. Some of it is factual and some is opinion based. When in a conversation with someone, don’t forget to verify your sources or work to understand other people’s. Just because it was said, doesn’t mean it’s true. This applies not only to Pandemic talk but also, as people around you share their perspectives, people thoughts and life decisions.

Agree to disagree. A goal in any scenario or conversation doesn’t need to be to get them to come around to your way of thinking. Actually, it can be an opportunity to understand, gain more clarity and see different perspectives.

Most of all, when so much is happening and emotions are flying high, this is an important time to look after your energy.

Some resources I’ve found helpful of late are the following:

Gabby Bernstein Podcast – Episode #34 – Stop being so judgy

BreathWave Ireland Events on once per week (Wednesdays) via Zoom to manage anxiety and take care of your nervous system

14 Day Meditation & Journal challenge by Pat Divilly – A challenge that allows you to follow along and to meditate as well as reflect

Kindly share any other resources that come to mind and that support you.

The Alternative To Cancel Culture

Endless boundaries are being created and as we manoeuvre our new normal, there is endless talk of cancel culture and stepping away as someone doesn’t step up to what or who we want them to be. Someone misses an opportunity, we write them off. A friend starts being uncharacteristically negative and we say ‘they’ve changed’ and block them. Sound familar?

Those who had a particular way of being before the pandemic have now changed due to what they’ve reflected on or, endured during that time. I’m the first to vouch for the fact that we become like the 5 people we spend the most time with. Hence why my friends are a specific breed of human and are aligned with the values I lead my life with.

Factor this in – as we’ve changed throughout the pandemic, so too have our values, who we’ve chosen to be and how we’ve come out the other end. Each friendship, family dynamic and romantic relationship will have felt the impact and more often than not, that’s a good thing.

Curiosity is better than judgment.

When it comes to considering others and how they’ve changed, some ideas to keep in mind and allow to affect you and your relationships are the following:

Just as you’re learning to navigate the new normal, so too are those around you. We are not infallible as humans – actually, more often than not, we are going to make mistakes along our journey. This is a sign that we are trying. When someone in your life, drops the ball, show some grace, express your feelings and be clear on who and what you are about.

Identify your own values. Our values are a guidance system for your decisions, relationships and the path you take on your journey. Knowing what these are allows you recognise when someone or something is out of alignment with who you are.

Forgive what isn’t for you. You can do whatever you want however you can not do everything. This also includes the relationships you would like to have in your life. This can mean that you choose some over others because they make more sense to you and yours. Move forward with grace and take care of yourself.

Understand the why. If there is an action of someone in your life who is out of your own alignment, rather than jumping to conclusions, ask yourself and them ‘why’. You never know what is happening in someone’s life or head. Recognise this and kindly avoid assumptions, they don’t help anybody.

There is an opportunity to understand at every juncture.

All The Advice You Thought You Needed

In December, I tried Reiki for the first time. Heading off to Cork, I sat outside, inside, by lots of trees and lay out in the wild to experience energy healing and all it had to offer. I learned more about the power of animals, nature and ‘the basics’ when it comes to feeling my best. Often, I’ve felt that fancy and elaborate needs were the way forward in terms of self-assurance and being my best self. Actually, what made so much sense was to get back to the grounding benefits of being in nature, meditating, being around animals and connecting with like-minded and emotionally healthy people. Reflecting back to that particular time, it was like having all of those reminders together in one go and set the tone for the coming months where I would continue to explore my intuition and listening to my body as much as possible.

As I carried on throughout the week, I recognised that these were the specific needs I had and that I wanted to feel that zen as much as possible. I followed up with some time working with a life coach, changed my diet and built a stronger habit of listening to myself and my body in order to feel my best and to guide this path with more ease.

‘Why would you fight, June?’ was the question of a friend lately. She highlighted this to me as I experienced a moment of un-ease due to some decisions I had been making. There are always choices – in any situation and listening to our emotions is imperative to knowing what serves us.

I read a post by Mel Robbins lately about doing a survey with friends before making a big decision. It can be a tendency (I know it is for me), to reach out and talk through any situation to get advice with a lot of friends. We tell the same story over and over again in the hopes that we’ll reach an answer either by having them tell us or having an aha moment while discussing it which will magically bring us to the answer.

Having the solution told to us would be pretty handy, huh?

Talking through is great and I certainly advocate for this. As I guide through the decisions in my life, goodness knows I’ve learned that ruminating for too long and not sharing with those we trust most can be detrimental to our health. It can also leave us with too many thoughts and then, overwhelm. Thankfully, we can still do both – talk through things and get advice where we’d like in a situation.

Here are some ways that work for me when it comes to managing through a situation.

Set expectations as you enter into a conversation. What do you want to get from it and why are you diving into it with this person? If you want to talk through and not get advice, say this. As humans, we tend to jump into solutions in a situation due to how our brains operate.

Manage your emotions before getting into the conversations. Have an idea and strong pulse on how you’re feeling and be sure to allow this in as you start to chat. At times, naming an emotion can help guide the objective of the conversation you’re having or planning on having.

-Being compassionate to the other person. When it comes to giving advice, it comes from a place of our own experience. Seems pretty obvious to say this but there are paradigms, life choices and focuses at play. As we listen or share (as the advice giver), it’s important to note that that there’s a lense that everyone is wearing that influences what they share.

-It’s about the process too, remember this. Perhaps you don’t have an answer yet as you’re not meant to? You can enjoy the journey and find your way to the answer when the time is right. It will work out in the end – promise.

Happy Sunday & keep shining x