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I’m a Coconut Queen!
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An adult you say? Those people over the age of eighteen with more responsibilities, higher expectations and extra hair to shave. They’re the ones that check their bank account everyday to ensure they can pay bills they keep forgetting they have. Their income becomes a motivator as, each month and its agenda revolve around that sweet sweet payday. All the while, pretending to like the likes of kale and clean-eating makes up the time between weekends when cheat days happen.
Friends tell me that at aged thirty one, adulthood is inevitable. At this stage, I have to agree.
Last week, I went for my first NCT. For those unaware of what that means, it’s the national car test here in Ireland. I’ve had my car just over a year and love it dearly. Really though, I’d do anything for it. Anything except bring it for the NCT apparently. Four weeks had passed and I could see that the disc was getting more and more out of date. After a dodgy tyre meant I needed to visit the garage for repairs, reality struck. I booked in the NCT and passed six weeks out of date. I’m not going to lie. If the centre had been anywhere more than five minutes away, the procrastination would’ve been longer. Alas, it was not and I look forward to the great NCT of 2018.
For now though, I ponder what it all means and how I can be a better adult. Next time I let something slide, perhaps it can be nipped a bit earlier? Instead of telling myself that I’ve got better things to do, I should turn off Netflix and focus on my to do list. Or, I could give myself the fear about letting them slide into oblivion?
In any event, the lesson is that it needs to happen eventually. When I tell myself that something’s a pain and that doing it will stunt my creative streak – perhaps I need to face the facts. While there are plenty of things I could be doing, I’m not actually doing them. Those holidays I’d like to take, they’re not happening. As for all those books I’ve talked about writing, yeah I haven’t started.
The truth is that getting what I need to get finished will happen. Why not hurry it up and (dare I say) get it out of the way. There are plenty of upsides as far as I can tell.
Firstly, there’s the feeling of satisfaction and getting it ticked off. Love to do lists? Yeah, me too. Care to join me in ticking them off? Ticking off a list of completed items works wonders for the mind. Trust me.
While we’re at it, there’s a little reward scheme. I had a bunch of college work to do last year. It took lots of time and felt like adult life on steroids. I treated myself to new make-up upon completion. It felt amazing and I got the work done. Now I associate finishing the task with a great feeling and not the stress I (sometimes) felt. It’s a win win.
The rest of adult life isn’t without its procrastination. It’s just about choosing your priorities whether you want to or not.
It’s already June and the number of events that are popping up across social media and filling inboxes is off the charts. There’s the option of webinars, Tedx Events, Facebook lives and Twitter chats galore. Everywhere we look, someone wants to inspire us with their version of success and to be honest, it can be overwhelming both on our minds and bank accounts.
Time is precious so choosing where to go and what to listen to is kind of a big deal. For me, constant research and subscribing to a variety of speakers means I have more options to choose from and some of which I actually buy tickets for. Not sure which ones are for you? I’ve put together a list of three below. Maybe see you at some of them?
- Tedx Talks take place in Dublin on the 17th of June. Inspiring experts in their field, speakers will take to the stage to educate on their topic of choice. As an avid fan of the Ted app and general videos on YouTube (there are thousands), it’s safe to say I’m pretty excited about this one. Already sold out, it’s possible to join the waiting list for this highly anticipated event.
- Pat Divilly will return to Galway with his mindset workshop on the 22nd of July. This is a mixture of lectures on personal development and activities. The focus will be all about reconnecting with your best self, finding more clarity and managing your energy. This is a more concise version of Pat’s past workshops.
- Feeling empowered? Well even if you are already, Women’s Empowerment Summit will take place in October 2017 (later than Summer, indeed) and will comprise of a variety of talks from strong, empowering women. The likes of broadcaster Sile Seoige and best selling author Donna Kennedy will share their stories of success for a day long event in Citywest.
Don’t have the funds? No bother. There are several other options to support you in your personal development this year and thereafter.
*Crack a book open. Seriously, there are so many inspiring options out there that will cost you no more than 20 quid (less if you go for second hand). I’ve got a bunch of recommendations from last year (PM me for many more).
Aside from reading, social media is jam-packed full of inspiring pages, videos and events. Just this week, I stumbled across Heal Within where Linda runs weekly meditation and mindfulness Facebook lives.
Finally, I’ll be sharing weekly tidbits and sources of inspiration across my blog, social media and newsletter. Be sure to sign up so you can get content to your inbox first!
I’ve had the fortune of coming across and working with a range of interesting and intelligent individuals over the years – through blogging, work, family and living in various locations. Listening to their stories and what they do, I’ve learned even more so that we’re all making our contribution whether through work, our hobbies or by simply being ourselves. Meeting and staying in touch with psychotherapist Cathy Culloty was no exception.
Cathy is a psychotherapist in DCU, has a private practice and on the side works as a model while running a blog. She’s recently got married and is living her best life as a strong and influential young woman.
As it’s mental health awareness month in Dublin, I reached out to Cathy to ask her for her thoughts on a number of topics related to the stigma attached with mental health in Ireland alongside her general advice to anyone who might be suffering or needing some help. The benefits of psychotherapy, the future of mental health in Ireland and identifying the signs of someone suffering are some of the areas we discussed.
“Exercising regularly, good diet, getting adequate sleep, being mindful of alcohol consumption, talking about your feelings and not being afraid to ask for help” are some of the ways Cathy recommends that we maintain a positive mental health. Aside from these basics, she recommends taking some time out from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Whether that means a holiday abroad, trip to the countryside or a spa day – rest is what will allow the mind to recuperate and refresh.
Of course, we are all guilty of skipping some steps of what we know is good for us. A struggle with our mental health will hit any of us at some stage in our lives so, what then? There are so many possible options when it comes to getting help and support when we’re feeling unwell. With so many possible ways of treatment out there including medication, cognitive behavioural therapy and coaching, how does someone decide what’s best?
As a psychotherapist, I asked Cathy why someone might choose psychotherapy as an option of treatment. Describing it as something everyone should try at some stage in their lives, it allows one to understand themselves fully, rewrite stories from their past, heal old wounds and decide who they want to be and where they want to go. As a pathway of treatment, Cathy cites finding a therapist you can trust as the most important element of having a positive experience with psychotherapy. Of course, having the motivation to develop and work towards a more healthy mindset is the second element to consider.
Not everyone feels comfortable talking about their mental health and this is where the stigma comes in in Ireland and probably – externally. Feeling like you’re alone and being overwhelmed are some of the reasons someone might avoid getting help with their mental health while caring what other people think pops up as a reason why one wouldn’t reach out sooner than they need to. Cathy’s advice is to remember that “you’re not alone. No matter how bad things seem, there is light at the end of the tunnel.”
Unfortunately, not everyone will say they’re in a tough place and even more people won’t have recognised it. As loved ones, it’s important that we are able to identify when someone is going through a mental health challenge. Social withdrawal, increased sadness and/or irritability and excessive sleep are some of the signs to look for when identifying a mental health problem. More intensely, significant change in mood, hallucinating and delusions can appear in more extreme cases. In any event, approaching the said person to support them will mean they don’t suffer for longer than they need to.
When we discussed the future of mental health in Ireland, Cathy expressed her hope for its acceptance and progression into a more positive light. “I have a friend in the UK who manages a team and gives them mental health days which I think is brilliant and should be implemented into all work contracts”. The lifting of the stigma, further education and increased awareness around mental health are hopefully a premonition for mental health in Ireland.
In the meantime, being aware of identifying the signs, super self-care and being as open as we can around the topic will mean we take massive strides in the right direction.