Navigating our day to day, there are a number of factors that impact as we aim to achieve whatever we deem as ‘success’. We can identify this as peace of mind, confidence or how we interact with others. This depends on our own definition however naturally, it can be influenced by those who interact with us on a frequent basis and how we choose to respond.
Self-esteem is confidence in one’s own strength and abilities. It can also be defined as respect and specifically, the amount of self-respect one has.
Emotional intelligence allows us to read people and their own levels of self-esteem. This can be identified as how they speak, show body language and make choices in their day to day. It can be influenced by many factors predominantly people, environment, upbringing and most significantly, the promises made to oneself and whether they are kept or not.
Assessing my own self-esteem and the factors that have lead to it increasing or decreasing over the past number of years has been vital to growth both personally and professionally. Each action we take, words we speak and encounters we engage in have an impact on our self-esteem.
It’s not just what we do that matters but what we don’t do that matters. What leads to drops in self-esteem is based on not keeping promises to ourselves and surrounding ourselves with people and environments that don’t align with us.
Take the water bottle analogy. A bottle of water costs 30 cents in a supermarket, 2 euro in a restaurant and 5 euro in a five star hotel. It is the same product however can be valued differently depending on the location and perception. Therefore, being mindful of how those in our environments (a variety of them) are interpreting is imperative to our own development.
Factors to consider are:
- What are your values and how do they impact on you? When we consider the environments and people around us, whether or not they align with our values will have a huge impact on our self-perception and self-esteem.
- Where and with whom do you feel your best? Be mindful of where and when your energy is high or depleted. This is an indicator of what resonates with you. An action I recommend to figure this out is to keep a diary (digitally or in a notebook) of when you feel your best and feel depleted then, act accordingly.
- Be mindful of your limits if you are a giver as the takers don’t have any. Boundaries are key in all relationships and environments and have a profound effect on our self-esteem. Unfortunately, when interacting with certain types of people, they will take energy and other resources if not told ‘no’. .
- Know your own strengths. Sometimes, we forgot as naturally, we’re conditioned to look for what is wrong in ourselves and around us. Did you know that your mind is geared towards threat at a ratio of 6:1? Therefore, in any situation, it’s natural to look for what is wrong including those factors with yourself. Take regular note of what works for you and what you like about yourself. Celebrate.
What factors affect you? Share in the comments below.