Category Archives: sometimes wellbeing

Sorry, I forgot to write it down

It’s been a bit of a crazy six months. Excuse the lack of writing and certainly, I’m aware at this stage that I’m a serial procrastinator. I love writing but I haven’t had a clue of what to put on paper. When I did think of something,  I thought “well this is boring” and so, I procrastinated some more.

Cheers for your patience, by the way.

There’s been some change in my life. I’ve changed house, changed relationship status and changed momentum. My values have remained the same while most areas day to day have been varying quite a bit. I know that I love my job, have the best friends in the world and have some fun adventures planned.

Let’s start from the beginning.

Hi, my name is June and I’ve just turned 33. I had always believed I’d have it figured out by now.

Actually, I really don’t.

Here’s what I do know. Essentially, that everything is working out fine. I know what I like and that the majority of my days comprise of beautiful moments surrounded by amazing people. I’ve got hoards of friends, kind people and I’m told, potential. I love what I do, have fun and rarely mope. When I do, I know that it’s only short-lived and going for a run or chatting to a good friend will instantly help. There’s plenty of opportunity, you see – to feel good and to move to the next chapter.

My relived realisation this week is that actually I’ll end up exactly where I’m supposed to and that any worrying has been totally un-necessary. Let’s just say that things have worked out so far and that indeed, they will continue to work out.

Some lessons I’ve learned (in case you’d care to read them) are the following:

*If you’re in a place where you’re not as happy as you know you can be well then it’s time to go back to basics. Ask yourself these three questions:

What do you want?

Where is your passion?

What are your values? (and not how this aligns with where you are).

*Having a difficult conversation can seem like a mountain to you. In fact, once it’s been had, it’s like a weight has been lifted. Truth over harmony means that it’s better to say the truth and be uncomfortable than to allow it to fester and keep the peace.

*It’s okay to be sad and say that you are. I’ve spent quite some time the past few months working on this and allowing myself to admit that the fires going on around me are impacting on my mental health. Smiling and keeping positive is important however showing some vulnerability will allow you to be your authentic self. This authentic -self will always attract real people and situations.

*Remember who’s in your circle and be extra mindful of how they’re there for you. Only spend time with those who make you better and adjust accordingly. They say you become like the 5 people you spend the most time with so start recalibrating.

*Do some exercise at least a couple of days per week. I know it’s been said time and time again but hey, here we are again.

Ever been cooped up in the house for more than a few hours and felt gross? Some exercise will release endorphins and get you moving. Any week I’ve had without adequate amounts of exercise has been less than it could be.

As for the rest of it? You’ll have to check back more regularly as I continue to share and avoid procrastination. 

The Difference Between Your Time And Everyone Else’s

Getting into bed at midnight, I could barely keep my eyes open as I filled in my journal. The week had gone so fast I barely had a minute to document the gratitude I felt for all the blessings in my life. All I knew was that the next few days were looking quite the same – busy with no room for reprieve.

I had filled my calendar up so much so that whenever I was asked to do something, I’d most likely be double-booked and have to find last minute ways to reshuffle. After all, it’s important to see everyone and do everything that you’re asked – isn’t it?

Not really, as I learned.

Each of us has as many hours in our day as Beyonce. That’s actually a caption on a mug I read back in 2014. It was a fair point and well, it’s true. Beyonce achieves so much, travels the world and seems to look a million dollars. Meanwhile, if I don’t have at least 7 hours sleep, I’m likely to fall asleep in my cornflakes and prop myself up on coffee for most of that week.

The thing about Beyonce is that well, I don’t know what her free time looks like. Maybe she sleeps all the hours god sends. Her multiple staff and her family might make her life twenty times easier so that she can live her dreams and perhaps she looks at her time and thinks ” I wish I could get more done”. I just don’t know.

The point is that we haven’t a clue what others time looks like. There are huge differences in the resources they have, the hours they work and what matters most to them. While one person might want to spend all their free time with their family, someone else might sacrifice their time for their career. It all comes down to values and why we do what we do.

Each person looks at their time differently. For me, one of the reasons I gave up my last job was that I wanted more time for me, my friends and family. That’s still a work in progress but in general, I try to prioritise requests from them to spend time.

At the same time, I have friends that will say no to hanging out on a Friday night as they spend that time for themselves and don’t want to leave their comfy sofas. Others spend their weekends building their businesses, hobbies or traveling around the world. I now chunk out part of my weekend to blog and coach so that I live more of my passions.

At this moment, I ask you to consider the below three points when it comes to assessing your time and how you spend it.

*Where are you headed and why?

If you were to look at your life and where you’re headed in one week, one month and one year +, what do you need to get there? Work out your time accordingly and set clear and measurable goals. Be conscious of the time that will take.

*What are your priorities?

Over the past 12 years in particular, I’ve experienced some huge losses in my life and it’s reiterated my focus on family and friends. Therefore, I need to make sure I’m in contact with and spending time with them as much as possible.  For you, what’s most important? Is it your spouse? Your siblings? Best friends? If family is a value closer to your heart then be sure to keep it there. Take a look at your calendar and act accordingly.

If your self-care comes first, assess what you’re doing to ensure just that.

*What feels right?

Listen to your gut and your body when it comes to your time. If you’re clocking up appointments and feeling exhausted or anxious then reassess. You only get one chance, use it wisely.

How do you prioritise your time? Comment your tips below x

Easy Like Social Media: Reality Versus Really Cool Posts

In 2016, I had the most views on SometimesWrite.com. There were a couple of thousand of you who were interested in what I had to say. Cheers for that. We had a bunch of interactions and the number of posts was the highest it’s been. I can actually recall the days when I sat at my desk and congratulated myself for a job well done. I reached the blog awards’ finals and my social media was hopping with positive validation and interactions.

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Fast forward to 2018 and the hard work hasn’t been there. It’s shown in the number of posts, visitors and the interactions on social media. When asked about the blog, I’ve responded with “Ah sure, I haven’t put the work into it to be honest”.

The great news is that it’s an easy formula. Work hard and the results will come.

Cool, done.

No, not really.

As Bradley Cooper’s character says in Silver Linings Playbook,

“You have to do everything you can, you have to work your hardest, and if you do, you have a shot at a silver lining.”

Success isn’t guaranteed but you certainly have a higher chance if you work hard at it. Personally, I’m aware that if I actually write posts, I’ll certainly impact more people than if I make excuses about how I need to work harder at it. Likewise, the time spent looking at how great other bloggers’ social media doesn’t mean it’s an easy ride for them in the background. I messaged a blogger I really admire recently to say ‘A job well done’ and her response was simply “thanks for that, it’s been really hard”.

Never make assumptions based on a Snapshot in time.

There are the aesthetics, the social media loveliness and then there’s the grit going on in the background. They say it takes 10,000 hours at something to become an expert. That means if you want to become an expert within a year then you need to spend 192 hours per week to get there. That could work if you would rather not have a life and certainly need to get there faster. In the meantime, you can keep sharing your progress, cool photos and inform on social media as much as possible.

In case you need it, the advice I’d give is this –

There are always going to be challenges, things will go wrong and inevitably, you’ll deal with objections and naysayers. You’ll experience moments where it will seem like things aren’t working and you’ll want to quit. All of this is OK. I’ve been there myself where I’ve stepped back from Sometimes Write for long periods of time (this is my first post in five months). Just remember the reasons why you’re doing it.

Stay off social media if you’re experiencing FOMO! If this isn’t feasible, then know that actually, most people on there are posting their best bits. They’re working their asses off in the background and are looking at other profiles feeling the exact same as you. Just like you, they don’t have all their ducks in a row.

It will all get better if you push through those challenges. I promise. 

Celebrate your successes in one way or another! Did you hit a small mile stone? Then bank it. There are wins in everything – recognise them and see them for what they are.

What are you working to right now? Catch me on social media or in the comments below to share your experience.