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Category Archives: sometimes wellbeing
I already told you this, we can’t do this and I have no idea why we keep on trying. These are some messages one’s brain might say as new neural pathways are being created and as we move forward with them. As it happens, the habits that are being formed are uncomfortable and at times, pushing the boundaries of what has traditionally been coped with. They are showing us that we are so much more than we’ve previously been and opening us up to a new way of living life and in our personality.
So, why bother?
The version of ourselves in 2022 is not going to be the same as 2021 and certainly not the same as the versions in the years that have gone before. This is a good thing. Why on earth would you want to constantly stay the same and remain in a stagnant state each and every day?
The point of this post and today is not to lecture, to berate or to knock down the thought patterns that you are having. Actually, the point is to continue to remind you that it is totally normal to have these thoughts. As you move through this part of your life, how about this? You recognise that the older versions of yourself don’t exist anymore and are certainly failing to exist any longer (potentially in progress). Meanwhile, the person who you may wish to be is certainly in motion. How though?
We are built to constantly evolve. This means that we can move forward day in and day out as the beings that we’ve always been.
This doesn’t just refer to new year’s resolutions. It refers to any new habit we form, want to change or a routine we are building into our lives day in and day out.
As you consider yourself today and moving forward, look at the below factors to reflect on.
Some factors and the norm when it comes to changing habits and forms are the following:
Having a healthy routine that you can move with and that can guide you along your way in a healthy manner. This means doing less however with clearer focus.
Taking stock of what’s working versus not. What are you doing and how is this looking for you? Journal on it or talk it through with an accountability partner.
Fact check your thoughts. As you make change, the thoughts that you’re thinking may not be the best for you and so, challenging them is important to recognise their validity.
The key to your future self, guidance and what’s happening is self-awareness, focus and knowing yourself. As you change, there can be an opportunity to get to know yourself all over again and again.
Know when to reflect, take inspired action and choose your best step into your future self.
How was your year?
For me, it was pretty busy. I sat and wrote it all down this week so I could reflect and decide if I was happy with the year in focus.
Job change, writing a book, starting a business, health scare, overcame some mental health challenges, started horse riding and learned to show jump, clearing of debt, coaching sessions with new coaches, made some special new friends and enjoying the art of yoga. These are just some of the events in the life of yours truly from 2021. Not to mention lockdowns, news items, traveling outside of Ireland for the first time in 2 years and managing all sorts of growth personally and professionally as I’ve moved through this time.
I can imagine that there is a list for you too. Even though we sat in our houses for a chunk of this year, hopefully we’ve all learned that change is inevitable – personally and professionally.
Perhaps it is full of differing items (I know this from my own circles this year)?
Some examples might include starting a new gym class, getting married, having a baby, losing your job, starting a new job, getting COVID, starting therapy or even something as simple as starting a new Netflix show. Whatever the year looked like for you, give yourself some credit for what you achieved, tolerated and encountered during the last year. The biggest changes in ourselves happen gradually rather than in one fowl swoop and so, recognising this can be powerful and certainly, don’t head into 2022 without recognising your wins and defeats. This all contributes to who you are today and who you will become in 2022.
Change and what I’ve learned
I presented on change and change management to my teams several times over the past two years. What I learned in 2021 is that the best way to build resilience is to experience the events for themselves. Avoidance does not work. And sometimes, there will be ones that you don’t even see coming.
As we knew things, it was the only constant in an ambiguous and ever-moving environment in my work life in 2021. Fast forward to June 2021 and I learned properly what change is and what it entails. With a massive change on my teams and with those around me, I needed to learn to adapt to a new change that was totally out of my control.
Learnings that I reflected on that will hopefully support you as you move through the guaranteed change of the world.
Firstly, we cannot prepare for everything. There are always going to be events, circumstances and interactions that we cannot prepare for. Take it from an over-preparer, this is inevitable about life and it is a learning that will be taught to you if you don’t prepare yourself fully for it.
Worrying does nothing. Again, I worry a bunch. A book by Gay Hendricks called ‘The Big Leap’ reminded me this year that worrying doesn’t do anything unless it sparks an action that helps the situation at hand. An example he uses frequently is worrying about leaving the kettle on the stove if you went to work. Worrying helps as it drives you to an action that intervenes in this situation. Write down what you’re worried about. Can you do anything? Then stop.
People are more resilient than you give them credit for. I used to think that removing difficult situations would take away the upset of those around me. I also used to think that people leaning into adversity and upset was a bad thing and it needed to stop immediately and everyone should be happy all the time. Truth is, we need those challenges to get stronger and to prepare us as we move through life. We feel the upset and challenge in the moment and remember that yes, we can move past this and use this experience to get better and stronger in our lives.
Life is for living. It can be tempting to climb under the covers when change happens. It can also be tempting to ignore the hard things and just have fun. Truth is that this is a sure-fire way for things to get worse. There is an opportunity to rest, reflect but then there is a time to get up and face the challenging scenarios and use them as a chance to get better.
Take it from yours truly, you can move yourself through anything you want. Focus on what you actually want, omit what you don’t and surround yourself with those who are good for you.
Happy New Year x
It was in my late twenties that I discovered what a nervous system was. People used to talk about ‘her nerves’ and ‘his nerves’ and them being ‘at’ people and I had no idea what people were talking about. As I’ve gotten older, it’s been clear what this refers to and in studies, I’ve been able to identify what it is, how it looks and the way forward in terms of regulating the nervous system.
Our body has over 7 trillion nerves. Nerves are the body’s electrical wiring and send signals from your brain to your spinal cord and around the rest of your body. This is made up of the central nervous system and the peripheral nervous system.
The idea of this post is to understand more of the nervous system and how we can take care of ourselves, why it can be out of whack and the focus on those who are clear on how they want their bodies to heal.
Our focus as humans is to be able to focus day to day on our systems, how we are feeling, regulating and moving ourselves forward. This is a path that makes so much sense when we’re feeling stressed or chaotic. Even more so, when we are feeling calm and collected. The reason is that the systems we can build when we are feeling good will support us in times we are feeling less than good.
Clearly, we need to show ourselves grace when it comes to regulating ourselves and remember that we can’t always be in the best place when it comes to our nerves. We can, however, remember our best selves, our why and the steps forward in terms of our self-regulation.
You see, our bodies are going to tell us so much regarding the nervous system and how we are feeling. They are there to protect us and to show up for us as we move forward. They are there to identify how our environments, needs and relationships are affecting us or rather, how we are showing up for ourselves in those areas of our lives.
Questions to ask are:
Are we feeling on track?
How does our body respond when in certain environments and how do we regulate?
If our body is telling us there is danger, do we know why is this happening?
Do I understand what is happening to my body right now?
How do I feel and how can I get myself back to a balanced state?
Is action the best next step or is it better to rest right now?
Do you feel clear on what is happening with your nervous system? Sit with yourself for a few moments and ask yourself these questions and see how you feel.