Self Development & Addiction To The External
15 years, over 200 sessions and 50+ self-help books, it’s safe to say that self-development has been at the forefront of my life. As I take a look back through old journals and am reminded by Spotify that I have made it to the top 1% of listeners, I can’t help but tune in and self-reflect on what now seems like an addiction to self-improvement.
Got a bad feeling? Listen to a Podcast.
Feeling overwhelmed? Book a coaching session.
Want an answer to your relationship problem? Google it.
2023 has brought us to a whole new level of information. Even before looking at qualifications or courses, there is a plethora of ‘knowledge’ across the internet that is readily available. When people are unsure of what to think for themselves, they’ll lean into an Instagram account for knowledge of how to behave. Meanwhile, the endless death scrolling is showing up as social media therapy. Depending on the accounts that are followed, it shows up as relationship, financial and emotional advice from industry ‘experts’.
Are we forgetting our intuition and ignoring nudges by replacing with external advice?
Leaning on others is advised. This is not what I am saying. When we can lean on other people, we can get varying perspectives and emotional support. It gives us the sense of community that we deserve and require.
However, when we are constantly leaning on others to tell us what we are doing and how we should respond to a situation then we start to lose our own sense of intuition and self.
We’re problem solvers and so are those around us.
Some factors to consider when you do go to others for advice:
- Have they done what you want to do? For example, if you are looking for financial advice, have they got themselves together in that department?
- Are you being driven by emotion or by logic? Quite often, when we are uncomfortable with a change or situation, our emotions can take over. This means that we can cling to the advice of other people rather than our own sense.
- Have you sat with it? We can rush to find a solution to a situation however the reality is that some decisions take time. Sitting in meditation, going for a walk or having some fun with friends will mean that we have time to digest and listen to ourselves in terms of a solution.
- Are you looking for attention? Sometimes, constantly asking people for their advice when it’s our responsibility can be an attention-seeking behaviour. We can start to feel that we are getting somewhere when in fact, we are feeding off the energy of constantly sharing.
- When it comes to social media, are you enjoying the dopamine hits? Screens and social media gives us hits of dopamine and so, this can be a catalyst to keep us seeking via these channels.
Some posts that may be of interest on the same topic: